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The Underwater World of Jacques Custard (sketch)
Bio The Underworld Water of Jacques Custard is a French documentary starring French explorer, oceanographer and conservationalist Jacques Custard as he goes in search of endangered and rare species of animals around the world. In his search, he heads to the Cobalt Sea in search of the forward walking crab and catches footage of the Cobalt fish whose mating season only occurs once a year and lasts for twelves months. Unfortunately, there is no female in the species which makes it very unhappy. There is also the viking fish wears lays eggs four times its size. It is also a very unhappy fish. In his search for the forward walking crab, Custard is assisted by a native girl (Carmen Dene) acting as a guide. On the boat, she wears a knife on her leg to protect her from the crew (Dan Jackson, unknown and Jackie Wright). Along the way, they pick up a catfish named Kitty, a sea horse named Dobbin and a water otter called a kettle. The girl becomes fond of his mussels and cockles. They also pick up a dogfish and a conger eel. Custard's voice-over says the crew never became distracted from their work, but footage shows them catching the young girl's top and following her along the boat, falling over themselves. The crew's search meanwhile continues. As many fish in the area are going extinct, they hope two electric eels mate, but one turns out to be AC while the other is DC. They also catch footage of two soles. When crew member Jean-Paul (Jackie Wright) goes into the shark-infested sea, he is told sharks never attack people. Unfortunately, no one told the sharks this fact. On the last day of the search, Custard finally discovers the forward walking crab, but an investigation reveals a load of rum was dumped into the sea, and it is actually a regular crab forced to walk forward instead of sideways because it is "blind-stinking" drunk. Trivia * Jacques Custard was played by Benny Hill. * This parody was based on "The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau," a series of specials that aired from 1968 to 1976. * The gag about the forward walking crab was recycled from the sketch, "Hans and Lotte Hill," Benny had performed for the BBC Light Programme radio series "Benny Hill Time" in 1964. * The fish descriptions were reused in the March 24, 1976 sketch of Fanny and Johnny Craddock. * The dog fish is actually stock footage of a moray eel with barking dubbed into it. * Jackie plays two roles in the sketch. He plays the diver eaten by the shark and still shows up again as a crew member. * The sketch ends with captions that it was filmed entirely on the Cobalt Sea (as a duck swims next to a model boat) and calling it an Arab-Israeli co-production. Episode(s) * The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard Gallery Custard00.JPG Custard01.JPG Custard03.JPG Custard04.JPG Custard06.JPG Custard07.JPG Custard08.JPG Custard09.JPG Custard10.JPG Custard11.JPG Custard12.JPG Category: Sketches Category: Fictional TV Shows